The Original Orange


The proud but always smiling badger stared at the yellow orange with much curiosity. His white and black fur shone as the sun stood in the sky without fear. He wondered why this particular orange was just so yellow. Every orange he had seen before were not as yellow as this one. Mr. Blind Hedge-Hog had told him that the yellow orange was a sign of doom.

“Foolish Hedge-hog, he doesn’t know anything,” the Smiling Badger thought.

Doom only came to people who wished for it. You get what you wish for. He hated people who were always negative. For example, the always drunk pink Squirrel was always having trouble because of his constant negativity.

For all this smiling Badger knew, this yellow orange was a sign of good times. The smiling badger knew he had to stop Mr. Blind Hedge-Hog from spreading more lies about the yellow orange, so he decided that he would go up to Mr. Blind Hedge-Hog’s house and confront him.

Knock! Knock!!

“Who is it, is that you Mr. Yellow Squirrel?” Mr. Blind Hedge-Hog asked with much curiosity.

“No! It’s Mr. Smiling Badger.”

“Oh you, I really would like if you could stop smiling”

“I can’t, I am the smiling badger.”

“I know but your smile is just borderline plain ridiculous,” shouted the hedge-hog.

“You see its hedge-hogs like you that continue to piss off the humans.”

“How do those always angry humans relate to me not liking your smile? You know Mr. Smiling Badger sometimes I don’t believe I know you”

“Typical of Mr. Blind Hedge-hog, you always keep quoting annoying irrelevant references. You watch too much of those human television shows.”

“Shut up, just shut up, you know nothing. You know nothing about anything with your sassy looking face.”

“Oh for the love of my father’s smile, are you Hedge-hogs ever serious?”

“Hmm, you know that’s a very difficult question, but be rest assured that the yellow orange will answer your question, with doom of course.”

“Stop speaking such blasphemy, the yellow orange will bring peace and harmony.”

“No, you are wrong my friend, the yellow orange will kill us, except me off course and maybe my wife.”

“Alright I can’t take this anymore, open this door at once, you spiny little mammal.”

“Oh wow, you know, all this time we both were engaging in this heated debate over a yellow orange, I honestly honestly! forgot you were still at the front of my door.”

“That’s it, I’m going home, I hope you Hedge-hogs turn into zombies and kill each other.”

“Now that’ll be cool, like I’ll just freak the living nut out of Mr. Yellow Squirrel”

“By the way please extend my greetings to Mrs. Smiling Badger for me, I miss her sassiness.”

“Mr. Smiling Badger, are you there?”

“Well well, I guess he went away”

“And I was just about to open the door.”

“Oh Life, we hedgehogs are just beautiful and misunderstood.”


The story of the hedge-hog is an ongoing series, catch up with previous episodes of the hedge-hog

The Legend of the Hedge-Hog 

The Curse of the Hedge-Hog